The Worst Toy Hall of Fame

We all had those toys that we absolutely adored when we were growing up. Legos, Barbies, Tonka Trunks, and Hot Wheels had the power to entertain our five-year old selves for hours on end. The shelves of Toys “R”  Us are lined with a virtual cornucopia of toy delights, but what about the toys that end up in the dumpster? Or as materials in UPB’s Trashion Show? We have all had experiences with what I’ll call “Toy Fails.” For instance, the first “Toy Fail” on our list will be the Boomerang. Who in their right state of mind would base a children’s toy off of a device originally created to harm kangaroos and llamas in Australia? This just does not seem like the values we should be instilling in our youth. After all, the majority of the time it does not even come back to you.

The second toy to make it into “The Worst Toy Hall of Fame” is the infamous Ferbie. I think it is pretty safe to say that the Ferbie was the “must have” toy of the 90’s. The Ferbie Craze makes me think of parents getting up at obscene hours of the morning to take on other parents in a battle to grab the toy that will satisfy their little bundle of love for a day, only then to be stored in a closet for the rest of its sadistic life. Not to mention, while you were asleep you would hear little eerie noises coming from the closet. After close inspection, you find out that the noises are not that of an oversized, deranged mouse, but of your once prized Ferbie. Aren’t you glad you had one now after losing copious amounts of sleep?

Reminiscing over the toys that once fueled our happiness allows us to act like the kid we once were, or  still are. At UPB’s Late Night Breakfast this Thursday, JMU students will be able to relive those wonder years once more. So come out and act like a kid again. We double dog, no, make that triple dog dare you!

– Shannon Essad

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