Coffee: I’ll Never Let You Go

This post goes out to all those daring students who throw caution to the wind — those who say the swine flu warnings are probably over-exaggerated anyway, and that the recommended hours of sleep are just some arbitrary number — this post is for you guys.

picture from blog.symbian.orgSpecifically, I’m empathizing with all the modern rock enthusiasts that are camping out to get their tickets to Third Eye Blind early. Pulling all-nighters, no matter what activities I’m engaging in, is not something that I look forward to. When I have no other options; however, caffeine is the only resource that makes those ungodly morning hours somewhat bearable.

Some aspiring health nuts always try to tell me how terrible coffee is for me, or how my heart is going to explode after my usual 5 black cups a day. These people are unbelievably mistaken. I’m here to arm my fellow caffeine addicts with some facts justifying our affinity for the beverage. According to

  • While your teeth may not be the whitest and brightest, at least they’ll still be real in 50 years. Due to coffee’s antibacterial properties, it helps to fight off one of the major causes of cavities.
  • Just like the song, your heart too will go on. Coffee acts as an anti-inflammatory; therefore, helping to fight off heart disease, which is the leading cause of death in the US.
  • It’s going to pump… up! The caffeine present is shown to be beneficial to drink both prior to a workout and following its completion. Your potential during the strenuous picture from gothamcityinsider.comactivity will increase, and ensuing the exercise the drink may aid in reducing muscle pain even better than ibuprofen.
  • During the college years, you may have embraced the “Natural” life a little too much. So you had the….”occasional”…. alcoholic beverage on one of those rare nights that UPB wasn’t offering an alternative program. Some studies have evidence that coffee helps to actually reduce cirrhosis of the liver.
  • You can have the steady hands of a surgeon. Those of you who shun coffee are 30% more likely to develop Parkinson’s Disease.

Mike Ditka said in best in Kicking & Screaming:

“Coffee is the lifeblood that fuels the dreams of champions”

– Stephen

Deforestation Of Festival

picture from thebreakthrough.orgNow a days when I think of the jungle, I think of all the destruction currently taking place in the Brazilian Amazon. According to, between 2000 and 2006 Brazil lost nearly 150,000 square kilometers of forest. In case you wanted to put that into perspective, that would be like losing Greece. One country I don’t want to lose, too many hotties on the beaches =).  So why does this happen when we all know it’s bad?? Historically commercial and speculative interests, misguided government policies, inappropriate World Bank projects, and commercial exploitation of forest resources can attribute a large portion of deforestation in Brazil to land clearing for pastureland. So, lets stop growing corn, wheat, using logs, and raising cows in Brazil and our problem will be solved!Late Night Breakfast
Luckily for Harrisonburg, a jungle is growing in our backyard!!! This year’s first Late Night Breakfast will be this Thursday from 10 pm to 12 am in Festival. It’ll be crazy jungle fun with plants, a butterfly cube (chances to win convo tix here), a trunk toss (more chances to win prizes), a face painter, breakfast food, a DJ and much more! =) For those craving a jungle appetite, we are having scrambled (bird) eggs, (monkey) bacon, (tree trunk) French toast sticks, and dirt dessert!!!
Hope to see you there! And don’t deforest Festival please =)

– Patrick

Third Eye Blind Update

Third Eye BlindHey guys, just thought you all would like some quick  updates on the fall concert situation.

Through the requests of the amazing VP of Marketing Zach Hamby, the band has approved for a meet and greet the night of the show. So we’ve decided that as a reward to those of you dedicated enough to brave the probable rain storms this Wednesday night, a lucky number of you will have the chance to actually hang out backstage with Third Eye Blind themselves. There will also be other prizes available, including tickets to go see Aziz Ansari, tickets to upcoming Grafton movies, posters, CDs, and other UPB parephenalia.

Also, we organized an agreement with Q101. So make sure to tune in to the radio the week of the show, because there will be chances to call in to win some free tickets.

– Stephen

The Hangover Blunder

Introduction time!

I’m Katelyn, the Marketing Chair for UPB’s Film Committee. I really wanted to let you all know about the unfortunate series of events surrounding our Grafton showing of The Hangover. I know in the Film Committee we’re all super upset about having to reschedule it, so I’m sure there is some general campus “upset-ness” as well. Hopefully, this will clear up some of the confusion for you.

picture from movieguys.orgFirst, I should let you know how we make the selections and scheduling choices. As a college campus movie theater, we have access to movies on a pre-home release basis, which means that we get movies before they come out on DVD, usually about 2-3 months after their release in theaters. At the beginning of every month, we start looking for movie choices for the next month. For example, we started looking at the September movie possibilities in the beginning of August. When we look at the list of available movies, we can see the date of the pre-home release, whether it’s anticipated or set in stone. So in August, we took all the movies with release dates in September and voted on them as a committee based on what we thought you guys as a campus would most want to see.

Once we selected the movies, we arranged them in a very jigsaw-esque manner to coordinate the release date and the running time of the movies with the available screening space. So here’s what happened with this infamous movie:

Originally, the release date for The Hangover was September 21, which was perfect for us to be able to show the movie in the last week of September. Keep in mind that The Hangover was the biggest blockbuster of Summer ’09, so Warner Bros. (the company behind the film) decided at the last minute to extend the theatrical release in selected theaters. Of course, that pushed back the DVD release date, thus the pre-home release date was pushed back to October 2. Of course, if the movie releases on October 2, we can’t very well show it on September 23. Since we want nothing more than to bring the “biggest blockbuster” to picture from wallpaperez.infoJMU, we decided that the best thing to do would be to schedule The Hangover to play Homecoming Weekend (Oct 14-17) alongside the new Harry Potter movie. There will also be a 3pm Matinee Screening of Harry Potter on October 18, the Sunday of Homecoming Weekend. Fair compromise?

Again, we really do apologize for the inconsiderate actions of Warner Bros. (How dare they forget to put JMU’s best interest first?!) Thanks so much for understanding, and please tell your friends that the date has been moved and why so that we can minimize the number of disappointed people showing up to see The Hangover at the end of this month. After all, we don’t want another Notorious blunder, do we? 🙂

Thanks for taking the time to read this and for your interest in UPB.

– Katelyn

5 People I Want to Meet Around JMU

Last night was our first General Body meeting, and I was fortunate enough to meet a lot of our great JMU students. However, there are some people around the JMU campus that stand out as characters that I really hope to sit down and have a conversation with before I graduate. These are my top 5:

Carrier library1. Carrier’s Favorite Harrisonburg Resident

This man is so dedicated to continuing his higher education, he’s taken up permanent residence at Carrier Library. I’d love to hear all the stories he probably gathers, and his tricks for getting into D-Hall.


2. Hillside’s Basketball Guru

At any given point in the day, you’re pretty likely to find him out on the Hillside courts. Don’t let his resemblance to Santa Clause deceive you… this man is a ruthless basketball player. While I’d like to think of him as a kind grandpa figure, I’m petrified to ask him to play a pickup game. While I have a huge advantage in terms of age, the only times I haven’t seen this guy making a fool out of college students on the court is when he’s running his daily mini-marathon. I want to learn this man’s tricks, so I can hopefully be as active when I reach his level of maturity.

3. Brother Micah

To put it nicely……Brother Micah has a very different view on life. I’m planning on budgeting in a good hour or so when I am just going to be yelled at for every life choice that I’ve ever made. After that, however, I hope to really find out more about the life that lead to the preacher we see each and every semester.

4. JMU President Linwood RoseDr. Linwood Rose

C’mon now. The man became the president of our university. I’d love some career advice, especially in today’s economy. Some more networking also never hurt anybody.

5. SGA President Candace Avalos

From everything that I’ve heard, our SGA President is one of the nicest people you’ll meet at JMU. She’s apparently also completely full of life, and I could definitely use some more pep in my day to day routine.

– Stephen

A Day in the life of UPBer….

One of my first tasks as marketing committee chair of the special event committee was to make mini flyers to stuff in the mailboxes of JMU students, to promote the upcoming comedian Aziz Ansari. This sounded like a really exciting task that Jamie DalsimerI am sure all of the students at JMU appreciate….(it’s not like they walk three steps to the garbage can and throw them out) To start the day I could not find the file of “Aziz flyer” to open on the computer. About ten minutes later, I find the flyer on a computer that had no internet access and was not connected to the common drive. Hmmmm….I am at a loss of what to do for a few minutes. Then I begged someone to let me borrow a flash drive and finally found one. I proceeded to move to another computer with internet activity. Angela attempted to put the flash drive into the computer but it did not show up on this computer. On to the next computer. Angela is holding the flash drive and wiggling it because the connection is ghetto…..I finally (5 minutes later) am successful in opening the flyer on the desktop. After much rearranging and plenty of help I make a sheet with four mini flyers on it.

Time to print….or so I though. I then learn that each person on exec can only print one hundred copies a day in the copy room. There are 5700 mailboxes that need to be stuffed by 4pm the following day!!! We round up seven people on exec that allow up to use their copies for the day and figure out the math….still have MANY more to print tomorrow. I bring the flyer to the copy room with Courtney to make prints. She plugs in the code and selects to make “675” copies and then leaves for class. Apparently, you are supposed to only make 100-150 copies at the time because the machine is old and worn out. The first 100 copies are a success…..then it is a progressively worse downward spiral. The toner is full so must be replaced. Sue, a woman who works in the office, offers her assistance….Twenty minutes later she figures out how to replace the machine with a new container for toner……Another 100 copies or so…..another bump in the road. The machine says the paper is full?….must take out paper and replace it in a neater fashion. picture from

At this point, I am getting slightly frustrated and pressed for time. Next….the machine is out of paper so we must reload and reset the process. Then the copy machine starts to malfunction and Sue gets worried that it will “blow up in flames.” We mutually agree that it would be best to stop the process before things get worse…..who knows how many copies I have now….not nearly enough. I put all of the flyers on top of the cutting machine in the UPB office and head over to my night class. All throughout my class I was thinking about how much it was going to suck to cut about 400 copies by myself later that night. I finally get back to the UPB office around 7:45pm and to my surprise the copies are all cut and stacked in neat piles! Apparently Zach was my cutting fairy and took care of it while I was in class! It was very unnecessary of them to do this for me but was greatly appreciated….I want to avoid copy rooms from now on J

~Jamie Dalsimer

Stalking Aziz

Hello my name is Zach and I think I’m funny, not hilarious but funny. Someone who I do think is hilarious is Aziz Ansari. The first time I witnessed his comic genius I was procrastinating from doing my homework and decided on watching a late night talk show, Jimmy Kimmel Live! (not my favorite but a close second to Conan). I then saw him in Observe and Report when UPB brought the movie for one of its advance screenings last spring. He played a man named Saddamn who worked at the mall. Seth Rogen’s character Ronnie and Saddamn had the funniest scene in the whole movie with the best reference to Chik-fil-A ever. And if you hadn’t already guessed it Ronnie accuses Saddamn of trying to blow up the the fast food chain. Saddamn screams “Why would I blow up the Chik-fil-A , I f@!**ing love Chik-fil-A!”

Aziz AnsariAfter that performance and our joint love for fried chicken,  my relationship with Aziz took the next step. I began awaiting the third directorial effort of Judd Apatow, Funny People. A movie filled with star performances and cameos but the role I was excited for the most was Aziz playing Raaaaaaaandy with eight a’s. He plays an annoying and “Dane Cook” like stand-up comedian. Raaaaaaaandy also employs a djay on stage to really emphasize his hilarious jokes. What sealed the deal for me was a mockumentary on Raaaaaaaandy on Will Ferrell’s site which I found while searching for something that would give me uncontrollable laughter (p.s. I found it).

Now some may consider the above paragraphs slightly stalkerish. I say that it’s completely normal to imdb someone a few times a week, watch youtube clips while at work couple hours a day, and occasionally send him pieces of mail that may or may not include spiral notebooks filled with jokes and headshots of yours truly scented with Old Spice. Well anyways I digress Aziz Ansari is a rising comedian whose been on popular television shows and movies and I’m happy to present him to the JMU students on September 25th in Memorial Hall.

– Zach